Backstage at a Concert Arena | Los Angeles, CA | Thursday Evening Fandom Time

[its_theclimb]

As Miley knew well by now after four years of pop stardom, doing concerts every night -- even with the occasional break for dinner with the boyfriend or having friends come backstage -- was exhausting, especially during a time that was supposedly her winter break.

But it was pretty fun anyway. And without having just done a full week of concerts, Miley wouldn't've had the leeway (or the pouting practice) necessary to encourage her makeup artist, Fermaine, to give her friend a makeover.

So. With an hour to go until tonight's showtime, Miley-as-Hannah lay on her back on a couch backstage and texted Lilly, wondering when she would just get here already, then prodded the dressing room door with her shoe.

"Jooooono," she called. "Are you done yet?" 

[[For he who isn't blue right now, and NFB for distance!]]

Comments

[furnaceface]

"You know, I still don't know how the hell you managed to talk me into this," Jono grumbled, in the tone of voice that was most commonly used by a man who had been sitting in the make-up seat for the past entirely too bloody long, arguing quite vehemently every step of the way.

While he couldn't argue with the necessity of the makeover in a reality that didn't tend to have slate-grey people, he still didn't have to be pleased about it.

"I feel like a Petey Sci-Fi reject. I'm not coming out."

You weren't wearing a corset, Jono. At least be thankful for that.

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

"I bet you look good!" Miley encouraged him from the other side of the door. "He didn't touch your hair, did he?"

"No, Hannah," Fermaine scoffed before Jono could answer. "Wouldn't dream of it. It's so soft."

Completely heterosexual, that Fermaine. Really.

"Then you'll be fine! Come on out!"

[furnaceface]

You know, just to get out of that dressing room before Fermaine could pet his hair again, Jono was actually going to make a break for the dressing room. And if he spent the rest of the evening looking for a restroom so that he could wash his face and then hide in a bathroom stall, would anyone blame him? Really?

"Can I at least have my coat back?"

Yes, that was more grumbling as he inched through the door. His coat was a safety blanket in the same way that his bandages used to be, but they both served their purpose. He was good at hiding his face, damn it. Even when it was painted up to look mostly normal, with a pair of weird twin scar-like ridges leading up from his mouth to his ears.

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

Miley would blame him. And give him sad girl eyes until he changed his mind. Like a good friend.

For right now, though, the glee at seeing his face was enough to make her squee. "OMG, you look totally cute!" she gushed, dropping her phone on the couch and leaping over to inspect him. And, yes, bringing his coat with her. She had confiscated it earlier as an incentive. "Good job, Fermaine. The skin tone... wow. He looks amazing."

"Anything for you, Hannah," Fermaine said sweetly, blowing an air-kiss. "You need anything else, a touch-up before your party, give me a call at home, you hear that? Toodles!"

"Byeeee," Miley called after him as he headed out.

And then she was right back to gushing.

"Oh my god. You should totally come onstage with me."

[furnaceface]

"You've lost your mind."

There. He said it. She put on the wig and she immediately turned into a complete bloody psychopath. That had to be the case, if she thought that he was going to get up onto the stage in front of three thousand screaming pre-teen girls, looking like this, or like anything.

"What would I even do onstage?"

Reaching for his coat... now.

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

"You could sing!" Miley exclaimed, yanking the coat back and bouncing up and down. "OMG, I've totally had people come up on stage before. Like, okay, this one time, my uncle Earl was here, and he's really bad -- like, really, really, really bad -- but I let him do a rock solo, with his face all painted and his hair all mohawky, and that was the same night Barney Bittman -- you know, the famous music critic -- came to see me, and anyway, everyone loved it. It was so great. My fans are, like, totally open-minded, too. And! You're British."

So, you know. There was that.

[furnaceface]

"... Yes. I can see how that might be a big draw around here."

Clearly they never saw British people in California.

Jono gave the coat a look that could only be described as pathetic, attempting to make a reach for it. "Miley, I don't know what I would even sing out there. I'm a guitarist, not a vocalist, for one. Aside from the showcase, I haven't sang in years."

Weekends where he was insane didn't count. Afternoons spent singing poorly because he was just happy to have a face didn't count either.

[idkherbfflola.livejournal.com]

Just as Miley was about to break out the pout and the puppy eyes, a voice somewhere across the room could be heard chiding a security guard, "No, silly, I'm her best friend, Lola--"

And then Miley tore across the room shrieking and leapt at a girl with bright pink hair for a hug.

"Hiiiii!" she shrieked. "OMG, I've missed you!"

"I've missed you too! Who's that?"

"Who's who?"

"The boy!"

"What boy?"

"The cute boy!"

"Oh! That's Jono."

"Your boyfriend?"

"What? No! That's Dave."

"Well, you usually date Js!"

...sorry, Jono.

[furnaceface]

There had to be an emergency exit here somewhere...

"Er. Right, then. I'll just..." They were calling him cute. Really, if there was at least a fire escape, or a trapdoor, or a secret passage in one of the walls, that would be most appreciated. "... Leave you two to it, then."

Where was a white flag when a guy needed one? He didn't even need that coat back!

Inching. Away.

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

"Jono! Hellooooooo?" Miley called after him, disentangling herself from the hug. "You were going to come onstage, remember?"

"OMG, he is?" Lilly gushed.

"He is!" Miley confirmed. "Don't you think he'd be great?"

"Way better than your uncle Earl, anyway. Can he sing?"

"He can totally sing!" Miley skipped over to try to steer Jono toward the couch. "Joooono," she said, batting her eyelashes at him. "Could you sing for us? Pretty please? Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty please?"

[furnaceface]

Jono was planning a slow and painful death for you as he was man-handled toward the couch, Miley.

"I didn't say I was going to!" He was just throwing that out there. "And what would I sing, anyhow?"

Not that he didn't know pretty much any song that you could throw at him, true. But there was the principle of the matter to stand by, now.

Slow and painful.

[idkherbfflola.livejournal.com]

Miley tilted her head in thought. "Well, there's --"

"Nah, Katy Perry did that first."

"Or we could --"

"Not unless you want to wear the spiky boots that are tight in the toe."

"Or --"

"No, that was cute enough when you did it with the JoBros."

There was a thoughtful pause.

Then: "I know," Lilly said, tugging on Miley's sleeve. "You could do the one you did with David Archuleta that time!"

[furnaceface]

Why do you hate Jonothon, Miley?

Why?

"... Which song is that...?"

NO JONO. DON'T.

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

Miley sighed, took a drink of water, and then launched into the first verse of it, with Lilly clapping along as the accompaniment.

"Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh
I saw you over there
I didn't mean to stare
But my mind was everywhere, I wanna know you
Gonna guess that you're the kind
To say what's on your mind
But you listen when I have something to show you..."

[furnaceface]

Yeah. Jono was making another grab at his coat.

"Don't know that one, sorry."

He would walk to the Portalocity office and book a portal back right now. So help him, Miley, he'd do it!

[idkherbfflola.livejournal.com]

"You could watch the video on my phone!" Lilly offered helpfully. "We have, like, thirty minutes."

[furnaceface]

Yes, Lilly, thank you, Lilly, that was exactly what Jonothon wanted in his life. A full half-hour of the same damn song.

Before a Hannah concert.

"I can try to learn it, but I make no promises," he replied, sinking down a little more into the couch. There was no escape. None.

[idkherbfflola.livejournal.com]

No escape at all.

Lilly pulled the video up on her phone and passed it over to Jono to take a look. "You know," she said, "you even kind of look like David Archuleta a little bit."

Compliments!

[furnaceface]

"... Twelve?"

Technically twenty now, Jono. Be nice.

Even so, he was taking the phone and watching the video. Even if he was holding it out at arm's length as if he was afraid it was going to bite him or something.

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

"Don't be silly," Miley dismissed. "He was, like, 18 when we made this video."

Duh, Jono. Duh.

She waited for the song to play through twice before asking brightly, "So, think you've got it?"

[furnaceface]

"If I said no, would you believe me?"

Yeah. He had it. It was seared into his brain.

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

Miley paused. Glanced at Lilly.

Then both girls shook their heads in unison.

Sorry, Jono.

[furnaceface]

Jonothon sighed, hanging his head and doing his level best to keep from working up a pout.

"... Do I have to?"

He knew the answer to that question, too.

[its-theclimb.livejournal.com]

Miley didn't even have to glance at Lilly before the two of them nodded in unison.

"We probably have time to re--"

"Hannah!" yelled a stagehand. "We need you for the meet-and-greet and then you're on in fifteen!"

Miley sighed. "I have to do everything around here," she huffed. Holding up a hand, she instructed, "Lola. Play nice."

And then she left for the meet-and-greet. Fear it, Jono.

"So... wanna rehearse?" Lilly offered.

[furnaceface]

Jono was sulking, now. There was no way to worm out of it, if Miley wasn't even here to worm out of it with.

"I suppose it's either that, or I wind up looking like an utter idiot onstage," he sighed. "Fine. Rehearsing."

Leaving Miley standing onstage waiting for a guy that was hell-bent on escaping the building wasn't exactly an option, either.